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Taboos and fears about the Late Weaning: Fears and Taboos about Extended Nursing
Fears and Taboos about Extended Nursing
Justin P. Call, MD
This article appeared in "New Beginnings" January-February 1988 and "New Beginning" November-December 1990.
The author is a member of the Medical Council of La Leche League, Professor and Head, Division of Adolescent Psychiatry and Child Development in the College of Medicine, University of California, Irvine. It specializes in pediatrics, pediatric pathology and research in child psychiatry and neuro-psychoanalysis of children. He founded the World Association of Child Psychiatry and Allied Disciplines and has been a consultant to the National Institute for Mental Health in the United States.
Meet the children is to know itself.
Our initial feelings as parents are the wonder, pride and acceptance and fullness. By raising the children have a second chance to grow, to convey our past experiences and preparing the way for future generations. Be attentive and follow the guidelines indicates that the baby, not only in relation to weaning, but also on all aspects of parenting, is perhaps the best way to see fatherhood.
Thus, not only we are attentive to the needs of the child and what may affect them, but we as parents are also learning to be, and the child can teach us many things.
There are many fears and fears about breastfeeding long, about letting the baby take the lead in weaning, the child share the family bed. I want to comment on many theories "professionals" who are reputed today, thanks to the experiences of many mothers who breastfeed for long periods. Thanks to them.
children believe that the term is useful because it defines not only the child's age, but refers to a condition in the mother. The state child which means "no talk", requires the observer or the person caring for the child's ability to be touched with the feelings of their babies and children take part in it.
During the prenatal period the mother is very concerned about their own bodies. It is the beginning of the concern felt for later the body of her baby, a fundamental aspect of the bonding process. This means something extremely important: the mother's ability to address not only the body of her baby, but all your needs. All behavioral studies of children have made over the last twenty years would mean nothing if they were not related to the feelings of mothers to their babies. After birth the mother is going through a very sensitive period during which it is extremely vulnerable and can follow a two ways, the concern and attachment to your baby or of ignorance and estrangement. Breastfeeding plays an important role in this learning period.
interesting thing is that the baby is able to trigger the response in the parenting style of his mother. He is not passive part of this process, in fact, becomes the architect who builds the bonds that will become as important elements in its development.
Breastfeeding facilitates attachment
The exchange between mother and child is reciprocal. Reciprocity becomes then a hallmark of the mother-child relationship, precisely because of the concern of the former by the latter. It is not something that exists only in your imagination. This, of course, is especially true for children fed, we must remember that the baby's suckling affects the mother's body. Investigations suggest that polypeptides (including endorphins) are produced by a breastfeeding mother, changing his genius and responsiveness and will produce a peace that facilitates breastfeeding. These are new areas for research in the field of biology and psychiatry. Now we are understanding the hormonal changes that occur with experience facilitating breastfeeding mother-infant attachment.
It's almost as if everything in the pre-language, was laying the groundwork for mutual sharing. And is that sharing has its biological basis, the baby is born to share her experience with her mother and she at once devoted lifetime to share their experiences with a new being. Of course, breastfeeding is a physiological basis for psychological circumstances of the child.
has seen breastfed babies do not use expressive language or signs as soon as the bottle-fed babies, but his comprehension skills are often much more advanced. In addition to bottle-fed children, they still look to their mothers as part of themselves.
also why they tend to wake more at night, which is not necessarily bad. Infants who share a bed with their parents tend to awaken more frequently but for shorter periods and with less trauma for the family. In our society do not really know how sleep patterns are normal childhood.
Growing have less anxiety and more self-control
The widespread idea that we must achieve child's independence in the first two or three years, thinking even to be independent and even at six months is simply not valid. Mary Ainstworth, an excellent researcher of children, has amassed an abundance of literature that shows this. The babies are very attached and dependent on their mothers sociologically year or two years of age, will not be useless catch the mother-child relationship when older. They are less anxious to go to school and more self-control at five years.
This is one of the great misunderstandings and one of the great debates of our society. The trend of our independent company trying to make babies too soon, probably favors a significant number of the problems facing society today. The pseudo-independence leads to the false self and in children who have not had enough experience enriching and reciprocal relationships with other human beings to define the self.
What about the baby who was not allowed to be dependent and have a long period of aging is that it develops a feeling of self-mother or father of his father. Prevents the child to develop a true self, a feeling of being "himself" being a real person. This true self is defined response by the outside world, the ability to make something happen in this world, if somewhat omnipotent, the illusion of owning the world and who rules it. Thus, a response from the mother is a very important aspect of that feeling of being a person.
Breastfeeding is interacting with the baby
Moreover, the attitude of pseudo-independence gives a person the feeling of being separated from her true self. Many people who grow up with this independence defense are deep in their minds, as has been discovered by psychoanalysis, the exact opposite what show: too dependent, helpless, anxious, unhappy with what they are and not know themselves.
The prolonged breastfeeding has interesting applications in the search for internal security. In the course of breastfeeding within the meaning of baby unchanged. In the first instance, is a satisfying place to catch the reflection of foothold suck, it's something that makes the mouth move. Next, it is something that can feed the baby. Later the mom behind the breast, face, voice and reciprocal interaction with your baby, all consolidated about breastfeeding.
Any doctor can say that weaning after eight months is "more difficult" for weaning before this age. The reason is that after that age the chest begins to have a more significant importance for the child as an object that soothes and calms, which is not bad. In fact, it is very convenient because breastfeeding continues to enhance the bonding process and makes the experience more meaningful dependence. And in this department the child is gradually emerging with a greater sense of independence.
So what happens with prolonged breastfeeding is that it becomes a transitional object such as the stuffed toy, the pillow or cloth. Many mothers can become confused with this situation, but the truth is that many others feel at ease and in fact actively involved in this situation. In a way, they know intuitively that there is something important that needs to be developed and preserved before it finished quickly.
Breastfeeding is an experience that grows and changes
I think the reason why the La Leche League has adopted the concept of allowing the baby to the guidelines for weaning intuitive knowledge fact that this experience has to grow and change, and not end in destruction. Its development involves a process of mutual growth, belonging, building, concessions, let go and many changes before the end of the weaning transition occurs. Both mother and baby, as a result of the experience of nursing, has a creative potential that can emerge in many ways similar situations remotely.
Weaning is the gradual and slow ideal
Another common idea in our society about extended breastfeeding is that children can become effeminate, become "the mama's boy" and that will problems with their sexual identity. Of course, some children may have these problems, but there are those who have had a proper upbringing and also the opportunity to create the psychological experience so special that I have been talking about. Children with these problems are those that have been limited in unusual and severe parents. It is not something that is related to breastfeeding, being associated with all the other things that are involved in mother-child interaction. Problems can arise when the male child is seen by the mother as "an extension of her" more than a little learning to be a man and discovering how to be men.
Another widespread idea is now that the child will not be able to wean himself, but instead want to keep pinned to his mother's womb forever. This approach is a true and false at the time. Of course the children are still pinned to the bosom of the mother, as imagined, but before the child can establish a sense of constancy of his own thought, your mind has to mature so that you can represent that experience out of the experience current.
is why slow and gradual weaning, using intuition as a guide rather than instructions from other mothers, since no two two babies and mothers alike equal, it is preferable to artificially imposed weaning. Weaning organized arbitrarily interfere with the child's feeling of being a person and being able to use your own discernment separately and differently from others.
Last modified February 2, 2006 by vbg.
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